(205): he told me he loved roast beefs. so we fucked.

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(770): Text message goes here...

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(256): Text to firefighter while at work: Come keep me company. (Rec) At work. Sorry cutie. (St) Take off. Is that even possible? (Rec) Ha. Nope. (St) But I can get you an excuse... (Rec) Or a bj at work would be good. (St) Deal.

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(256): (Sent) Coming to class? (Rec) Nah... I just got Avatar on Blue-Ray. Going to get really high & watch it. (Sent) Good Choice.

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(707): i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting

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(541): he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him

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(763): dude i just woke up with someone i dont know spooning my leg, i pissed in a cup, realized it was broken, put it back then tryed to find a way home, idk where the fuck i am!!!

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(256): sent: you kept putting your hand over the sandwich with your other hand raised swearing it was the best sandwich you ever had. received: dude it was a great sandwich sent: it was just 2 pieces of toast.

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(785): I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself.

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(646): i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation

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