(305): trying to fall asleep is hard when your drunk, its even harder when your grandmas staying with you in the same room and her farts are making what sounds like a symphony..

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(540): i don't think he was turned on when you asked if you could take a miniscule sample of his penis.

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(781): i love you

Great Night (6) Bad Night (32) Comment (0) More texts from (781)

(781): the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrato

Great Night (278) Bad Night (14) Comment (2) More texts from (781)

(310): Maybe I'll just fertilize his crops so he won't get that mad.

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(813): (813): a homeless man just talked to us for 10 minutes in the parking lot about going to iraq and having 10 daughters and ended the conversation by saying he doesnt want my money cause he is scared of me cause of the way i look.. whats wrong with me

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(850): sent- you no one of those girls who has to wear make up too look good? recived- yah bud sent - yah.. she was one of those. pratically a man.

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(904): i just saw 2 elephants on my way to class.. that was some good shit (561): elephants? like fat chicks? (904): no like the animal but i think they were hot

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(813): I got the xactlys WTF My mouth tastes exactly like shit!!

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(850): :) Don't reply to this

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(513): Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.

Great Night (405) Bad Night (11) Comment (5) More texts from (513)
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Remember The Pics From Last Night?