(604): Wife is out and I am drunk and laid....Ooops, I guess she did not hide the cookie jar well enough...

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(513): Sam is as nice to me as your mouth is to my vagina. Its a real dilemma

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(760): The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.

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(614): Just had my first bar hook up. Definately not as fun as expected. But what is good is that I work with his mother and she is coming to pick him up as we text. Haha.

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(330): Rec-in my next life i wanna be an elephant. Sent-fuck that...i wanna be a giraffe. Rec-we can hump and make beautiful giraffe elephant babies!

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(614): I'd just like to put those knockers in my mouth and feed like a starving baby

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(614): Sent:I love when you suck my dick (reply) I'm glad. I like pleasing you.

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(440): "seriously, i thought i went to bed so pissed off cause i saw the guy that i wanted to fuck across the room getting head from my best friend. but somehow i woke up to him. and in my hand... i was still holding that bottle of jack"

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Remember The Pics From Last Night?