(562): i was hammered n went down on her n she was on her rag lol n when i can up n looked like i had a kool-aid mustashe

Great Night (10) Bad Night (226) Comment (3) More texts from (562)

(702): Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.

Great Night (15) Bad Night (167) Comment (0) More texts from (702)

(660): We have no electricity and absolutly no food...No weed...My vagina is so hairy from not showering it sounds like i`m wearing wind breaker pants when i walk

Great Night (9) Bad Night (164) Comment (4) More texts from (660)

(415): Why is hangover poop so stinky??? I mean, I'm already not feeling the best, then I gotta sit in this stench?!?! It's like my butt is trying to punish me & teach me a lesson! Alright, fine, butthole! You win! I'm never drinking again! :)

Great Night (19) Bad Night (106) Comment (3) More texts from (415)

(904): I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.

Great Night (27) Bad Night (93) Comment (1) More texts from (904)

(630): Bro what the fuck?! Where and when last night did I lose my left big toe nail?! The pain just kicked in!

Great Night (13) Bad Night (88) Comment (1) More texts from (630)

(404): I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.

Great Night (13) Bad Night (86) Comment (0) More texts from (404)

(201): I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american

Great Night (25) Bad Night (80) Comment (9) More texts from (201)

(269): i didnt remember i had googled "dog orgy" until i found a picture on my phone of it

Great Night (2) Bad Night (75) Comment (0) More texts from (269)

(210): I think they put something in the punch, I woke up with no pants and my mouth tasting like condoms.

Great Night (23) Bad Night (71) Comment (2) More texts from (210)

(305): nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night

Great Night (42) Bad Night (64) Comment (0) More texts from (305)

(502): Holy Jesus. Remember that scene from van wilder where she gives him laxatives for his test and he blows up that trash can? Yeah... Kinda like that.

Great Night (4) Bad Night (61) Comment (0) More texts from (502)

(630): Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.

Great Night (21) Bad Night (59) Comment (0) More texts from (630)

(443): her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"

Great Night (11) Bad Night (56) Comment (1) More texts from (443)

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