(404): I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.

Great Night (13) Bad Night (86) Comment (0) More texts from (404)

(404): Is it bad that I'm eating corn dogs and drinking wine at 7am?

Great Night (6) Bad Night (4) Comment (0) More texts from (404)

(404): His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.

Great Night (166) Bad Night (9) Comment (2) More texts from (404)

(404): DUDE! my girlfriend picked me up from work at 2 am wearing a corsette and holding a condom. we proceeded to fuck for an hour in the back seat of her car. Best GIRLFRIEND EVER!!!

Great Night (216) Bad Night (1) Comment (1) More texts from (404)

(404): tiotally drunk eright now! thoguht it woulds be funny to wriet on my drunk trexts whilew Drunk! MAwahaha

Great Night (3) Bad Night (16) Comment (1) More texts from (404)

(404): i dont remember it being fun. i cant train virgins!

Great Night (15) Bad Night (2) Comment (0) More texts from (404)

(404): Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.

Great Night (118) Bad Night (10) Comment (0) More texts from (404)

(404): They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.

Great Night (172) Bad Night (3) Comment (1) More texts from (404)

(404): couldn't wait for you to come outside but don't worry-your keys were in the car. be right back with more beer. I'm to drunk to be driving. rec 404: that's not my car, we took a cab to the party.

Great Night (12) Bad Night (6) Comment (0) More texts from (404)

(404): I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.

Great Night (169) Bad Night (15) Comment (0) More texts from (404)

(404): There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase

Great Night (224) Bad Night (4) Comment (1) More texts from (404)

(404): Bride is doin the stanky leg, just got a glimpse of your wedding

Great Night (7) Bad Night (2) Comment (0) More texts from (404)

(404): Sorry I couldn't make it but I got to fuck on the football field so can't be to mad!

Great Night (18) Bad Night (0) Comment (0) More texts from (404)

(404): Haha I walked in and she was in the closet with no pants on and you were in your boxers

Great Night (14) Bad Night (0) Comment (0) More texts from (404)

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