(714): the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester

Great Night (180) Bad Night (1) Comment (2) More texts from (714)

(714): (714)Happy birthday bro.. how did it feel turning 19 with your head in the toilet? (714)mission accomplished!!

Great Night (8) Bad Night (3) Comment (0) More texts from (714)

(714): I hate how you can tell how recently I've masturbated based on how far back my iphone's safari history goes

Great Night (66) Bad Night (15) Comment (0) More texts from (714)

(714): My head and door frames don't mix....

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(714): My head and door frames don't mix....no more ninja moves for me

Great Night (6) Bad Night (0) Comment (0) More texts from (714)

(714): The other night I was plenty of shots deep of popov .. Midsex in a playhouse I throw the girl off me puke on her clothes, her bed, her wall, her door, her floor,and her..passed out on her backyard lawn .woke up layin nxt to her naked again and a cig in my ear...fail?

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(714): You started reciting the Gettysberg address to try and prove you were sober. you didn't finish.

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(714): Is it sad that the sexting I'm having with my friend right now is better than the sex that I actually have? [rec'd] Ah, you're so shameless. :)

Great Night (9) Bad Night (5) Comment (0) More texts from (714)

(714): Sent: So apparently last night, i stole the movie Hook from that dude patrick invited over and then ran down the street yelling "RUFIO RUFIO RUFFI-OOOO!" then fell down. my arm hurts. Rcvd: dude, you are either crazy or awesome.Sent: I prefer awesomely crazy

Great Night (12) Bad Night (0) Comment (0) More texts from (714)

(714): My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.

Great Night (168) Bad Night (22) Comment (0) More texts from (714)

(714): Hahaha you puked all over his shirt. (562): You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch. (714): Well someones bitter they didn't get any.

Great Night (117) Bad Night (9) Comment (0) More texts from (714)

(714): This hotdog is big and juicey like a dick should be

Great Night (12) Bad Night (7) Comment (0) More texts from (714)

(714): This guy was trying to romantic and the only thing I could say to him was... your sooo cottage cheesy. Sorry man :(

Great Night (2) Bad Night (7) Comment (0) More texts from (714)

(714): Dude... there are snails being attacked ants... shit is fucked up

Great Night (15) Bad Night (2) Comment (1) More texts from (714)

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