(879): I keep getting really high and adding phillipino people as my fb friends.... i dont know why.

Great Night (293) Bad Night (12) Comment (2) More texts from (879)

(879): HE PEED IN THE CONDOM, TIED IT IN A KNOT, AND POPPED IT ON MY HEAD. HOW DO YOU THINK MY NIGHT WENT?!?!?!

Great Night (87) Bad Night (1098) Comment (12) More texts from (879)

(879): The plumbing company shut off your water cuz you spent all your money on weed. you couldnt find any bong water. you used nyquil instead. you need help.

Great Night (23) Bad Night (5) Comment (0) More texts from (879)

(879): dlf;sd;sldk; dsf';dsl'a;l'd;l'a;

Great Night (6) Bad Night (6) Comment (0) More texts from (879)

(879): (sent) Dude, you tried to turn yourself in at the police station for being too awesome.

Great Night (556) Bad Night (8) Comment (2) More texts from (879)

(879): A know-it-all grad student was explaining to a professor about unicorns. "They only talk to virgins, you know," she said. "So what do they say," he asked. Exasperatedly, "Well, I don’t know," she replied. He just grinned

Great Night (285) Bad Night (10) Comment (5) More texts from (879)

(879): you got really high and you knew you were too fucked up to drive. so you tried to walk your car all the way home. the police told me they found you passed out in a puddle about 100 yards away from your car. when do you want me to come get you?

Great Night (238) Bad Night (24) Comment (1) More texts from (879)

(879): I passed out while i was taking a shit last night...... woke up on the floor. I have some cleaning up to do.

Great Night (23) Bad Night (366) Comment (1) More texts from (879)

(879): So this girl was sucking my dick, right? The i realize i have to sneeze. While my dick is in her mouth, i sneeze and choke her. she pulls my dick out of her mouth and pukes in my lap.

Great Night (3) Bad Night (33) Comment (1) More texts from (879)
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