(908): If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."

Great Night (48) Bad Night (2) Comment (0) More texts from (908)

(908): It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!

Great Night (104) Bad Night (6) Comment (3) More texts from (908)

(908): I was straightening my hair naked and lets just say growing out my hair was a bad idea... bye bye nipple.

Great Night (1) Bad Night (14) Comment (1) More texts from (908)

(908): Yup. It's there. I just walked out onto the street and down route 22 in pajama pants and no bra to check.

Great Night (7) Bad Night (0) Comment (0) More texts from (908)

(908): Yeah. And it was everywhere BUT the toilet.

Great Night (3) Bad Night (16) Comment (0) More texts from (908)

(908): We wrestled the whole night which ended in the BEST kinky sex ever. I think we started a new tradition.

Great Night (15) Bad Night (0) Comment (0) More texts from (908)

(908): i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand

Great Night (124) Bad Night (13) Comment (1) More texts from (908)

(908): I just walked home. Woke up underneath a house, no where near where I was supposed to be.. By myself. I'm still drunk. Help soon

Great Night (6) Bad Night (9) Comment (0) More texts from (908)

(908): do you remember why i was meowing at the fish and licking my lips last night?

Great Night (6) Bad Night (3) Comment (0) More texts from (908)

(908): Coach remembe when you said if we needed anything we could callor text you? Well I'm drunk becaues you bencheed me and i got mad now I'm running from cops and i need a ride plz

Great Night (44) Bad Night (2) Comment (0) More texts from (908)

(908): i never get hangovers. but i do get this "hard" thing you speak of. jk, i get ROCK SOLID MO FUCKA, REPRESENTTT!!!

Great Night (36) Bad Night (107) Comment (5) More texts from (908)

(908): DUDE ILL PENETRATE UR ASS AND ULL DIE LIKE THE GUY WHO FUCKED THE COW! hahaha VODKA TIME

Great Night (2) Bad Night (8) Comment (0) More texts from (908)

(908): GUYS IM WALKING TO THE MALL. MEET ME HALF WAY? LIKE AT THE COW THAT DIED IN THE ROAD BUT STILL HAS A PULE SO I ATE IT?

Great Night (1) Bad Night (7) Comment (0) More texts from (908)

(908): Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.

Great Night (117) Bad Night (4) Comment (0) More texts from (908)

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