(405): Met hot chick at bar. Went to her place. Fucked for like an hour. Played HER xbox, while getting a bj. Fucked again. More xbox and bj. Fell asleep, and what do I wake up to? Motherfucking pancakes... with chocolate chips. I'm in love...
Texts From Last Night (TLN): The Texts From Last Night u shouldn't have sent.
The texts from last night u shouldn’t have sent...
(618): I just walked thrugh the woods having a conversation with every spider I saw in it's web. They all have English accents. I'm drunk and this weed is incredible!
(773): Dude i'm not sure who's apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal...
(254): WTF, what happened last night? Reply: You drank all the Bacardi that you bought me for MY birthday and then blamed it on the Bacardi dwarf. That's what happened last night asshole
(Anonymous): Last night I received: "why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonald's?"... sent: "you tried to order a margarita mcflurry and when they said they didn't make those you tried to call 911." MDT
(508): awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation? ... (rec'd): you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
(303): i have bruises on my hips that really really represent the exact marks of a guys hands from grabbing me and f*cking me from behind.... i thought me and you and your boyfriend were hanging out last night?
Submit your Texts
Best Nights
(727): I'm at the airport and there's a guy wear...
(404): Dude...can you like send a girl an Easter b...
(484): Today at work i went outside to clean the m...
(858): just because i like giving head does NOT ma...
(402): He grabbed my tits, then told me that it wa...
Worst Nights
(91): Ya, she was loaded. The dog wouldn't stop ...
(815): I seriously think I have a tan line on my s...
(724): I've had enough of this chick, she wanted ...
(843): he called to say sorry for eating all the a...
(347): Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just fou...
Most Commented
(405): Met hot chick at bar. Went to her place. Fuc...
(908): I didn't have enough money for condoms so i...
(215): I was helping him find his phone, so we trie...






