(502): wow. not only did i just see my baseball coach at a party but he saw me mackin on a girl and gave me the sign to steal second.

Great Night (483) Bad Night (8) Comment (13) More texts from (502)

(603): Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.

Great Night (424) Bad Night (15) Comment (1) More texts from (603)

(847): Your mom asked why you were limping, then you replyed saying "shuttup bitch, that aint no limp its my swagga".

Great Night (358) Bad Night (5) Comment (5) More texts from (847)

(713): (713): We made a drinking game out of Shark Week... you drink everytime they say shark...how do you think my night went????

Great Night (285) Bad Night (15) Comment (3) More texts from (713)

(914): she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"

Great Night (276) Bad Night (11) Comment (1) More texts from (914)

(330): so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister (216): i hate you

Great Night (271) Bad Night (6) Comment (0) More texts from (330)

(330): Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.

Great Night (255) Bad Night (19) Comment (3) More texts from (330)

(801): He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.

Great Night (230) Bad Night (4) Comment (0) More texts from (801)

(616): we fuck alot, how are we not facebook friends?

Great Night (230) Bad Night (19) Comment (0) More texts from (616)

(813): were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.

Great Night (228) Bad Night (11) Comment (0) More texts from (813)

(774): I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.

Great Night (227) Bad Night (5) Comment (2) More texts from (774)

(414): turns out he NEEDS magnums. i tried putting a regular sized one on him...didn't work out. it was like trying to put a sock over a watermelon

Great Night (226) Bad Night (7) Comment (5) More texts from (414)

(763): I woke up with my shirt on as pants... (610) Oh god what did you do last night (763) I Lived

Great Night (224) Bad Night (7) Comment (4) More texts from (763)

(580): She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.

Great Night (222) Bad Night (5) Comment (0) More texts from (580)

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